TEN WAYS TO HURT YOURSELF WITH bElLa!
by iluvyumorthenyuthink
Summary: so not good at summeries!
1. Chapter 1

TEN RANDOM WAYS TO HURT YOURSELF WITH BELLA

* * *

thank my lovely friends! here goes!

* * *

My friends all call me clumsy but i don't think so. Since they think that i'm clumsy, i will make them seem like the table has turn. MUHAHA! Seriously. By the end of the week, they will NOT call me clumsy anymore. Now to think of the perfect plan. to start with Rosalie, i think i might... i don't know throw a brush in the mirror? make her drop her shopping bags filled with condoms? no i would get in trouble for both. Hmmm Jasper... should i make it seem like he broke the vibrator while he's releasing? fill one of his condoms with baby oil? naaaaahhh too obvious... Emmett where should i start? make him mysteriously break a footing for a truck? scare him into drop his bag full of tampons... now that would be funny. i might keep one of Emmett's. now on to alice. well i could cut one of her dresses and hold it together until she bends over? that would be embarrassing. make her forsee something that would be false, then make her fun over the edge of a cliff? umm i think i would get in trouble with Edward... speaking of Edward... hmmmm he can't hear my thoughts so.. maybe i should tell him the truth, and since he will think im playing, OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH wait i don't kno!... HELLLPPPPPP! time to call the master of trickery... then trick him... MUHAHAHAHA *cough* *choke* *cough** cough*


	2. Chapter 2

**I think i found a way to make them seem clumsy...  
For Alice i think i will trick her into forseeing the wrong thing. Yea that's what i'll do. Let's start with her.**

**"Hey Alice I'm planning to go cliff diving. you want to come?"  
" Um Bella? I think Edward would kill me if I let you go, or if i even go with you! Besides I forsaw that you were going to fall off the cliff. so I can't let you go. We can go shopping though!"  
"No I think i will jus go see Jacob. Maybe go biking with him."  
" OK!"**

**Damn that was easier than i thought. Now just to go to the cliff and lean over it like i planned. wait that cliff is rocky. Oh well! Time to have some FUN!**

**Well all i got to do is stand by the edge of the cliff long enough for Alice to see it then i can go home. Then again, i haven't seen Jacob in a while. maybe we can- ! I NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE I'M GOING! the water feels nice though.**

**"BELLA!"  
"BEEEEELLLLLAAAAAA! WHERE ARE YOU!"  
" There she is. how did she get in the water in the first place?"  
" Never mind that. She's drowning, let's get her out of her."**

**"Bella what the hell where you thinking jumping over that cliff like that. Your lucky that Jacob here saw you or who knows what would have happened."**

**"cold-blood shut the hell up and help her out the water."  
"go get a girl mutt and leave my girl the hell alone"  
"Fuck you and she's bleeding so you might want to stay away or you might suck her blood"  
" Why you always so damn concerned about me? shouldn't you be running around with your supposedly pack?"  
" If Bella wasn't hurt, i would lay your ass OUT. you wouldn't know the difference from your dick or head. suck dat blood coldy"  
"mutt get the hell away from me!"  
"coldy get the hell away from bella!"**

**"UMMMM HELLO! DID YOU FORGET THAT I NEED HELP? SCREW BOTH OF YA'LL I WILL JUST GO TO CARLISLE... BYE JACOB BYE EDWARD."  
" BELLA! MY LOVE COME BACK! YOU CAN'T BE GOING ANYWHERE BLEEDING LIKE THAT!"  
"BELLA DON'T GO TO THAT COLD-BLOOD. COME WITH ME SO I CAN GET SAM TO HEAL YOU."  
"FUCK YOU BOTH.!"**

**I decided to go to Carlise after all. I mean hey. i might be mad at Edward but carlise is stilll my friend. **

**"Hello Bella. What happened to your arm?"  
" I jumped off the cliff. how bad is it?"  
" Well it looks like i have to stitch it back up. But Alice called me and told me that you had walked straight off of it like you didn't know that you had ran out of rocks."  
" I guess i was thinking to hard and forgot where i was or where i was going."  
" well luckly Alice forwarned me."  
" am i good to go?"  
"yup. go and see Alice. i think she's worried about you."  
"will do."**

**"BELLA WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WALKING OFF THE CLIFF LIKE THAT! YOU COULD HAVE DIED! AND YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO JACOBS. WHY THE HELL DID HE COME AND SAY THAT YOU HAD TO BE TAKEN TO THE GOT DAMN HOSPITAL! AND WHY IN THE HELL DID HE SAY THAT YOU TOOK YOUR OWN DAMN SELF? EDWARD AND JACOB WERE THERE! NEXT TIME DON'T GIVE ME A SHIT SCARE LIKE THAT!"  
" will you calm down?"  
" NO THE HELL I WON'T CALM DOWN! NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE A PERFECT REASON WHY YOU JUMPED OFF THE DAMN CLIFF!"  
" i wasn't paying attention to where i was going. i didn't realize what had happened until i almost hit the water."  
" O WHATEVER! IM GOING TO BED."**


End file.
